Our ancestors fall among the autumn leaves.

As the last breath of a leaf departs the tree, the deep reds and oranges of woven clothing take up the drum.

Scattered piles of yellows, golds, ambers and greens….returning to the Earth, invoking Love.

All their wisdom….their laughter, sadness and love…all of their stories… triumphs and defeats… fears and hopes…are revealed when we breath in what is contained within the returning leaves….breathing not with our lungs…..

Do not doubt what is shown before you, but beware thinking you know what it is you are shown.


(not my own photo)


What turns the leaves red?

What turns the leaves red?

Where I live, some leaves change color as Autumn emerges. How beautiful! The burnt orange and fiery scarlets zing into my optic nerves!

What changes the colors? Why do they turn from green to yellow and orange and red? One possible answer lies within the angle of the Sun and the efficiency at which leaves can process visible light…. the lower the angle of the Sun, certain wavelengths of light get absorbed by the increased thickness of atmosphere that the light must travel through due to the low angle in the sky. So, the leaves evolved to change color to become more efficient at transferring the Sun’s energy into plant energy.

That’s a blunt scientific explanation, but it is awesome to think about. How clever!!

However, it answers the question from a mechanistic slant.

Utterly complex yet it unfolds without contemplation.


Which path?

Green leaves, brown bark, white light and cool shade.

Green leaves, brown bark, white light and cool shade.

Sometimes our journey is cool and shaded, and wrapped up with soothing sounds of birds and wind. The crisp smell of the Earth and leaves, and the crackling of dried twigs under our feet merge our bodies with the soil.

These times of feeling safe, secure and comforted, make us feel at home, immersed into nature; however, we may feel a deep sadness for living outside of Mother Earths bussom for most of our lives.

All paths with eventually circle the globe and bring us Home, yet that doesn’t mean chosing a path wisely is not important. So, it is important to take full advantage of those times when the path we are on feels ‘right’, feels like we are Home. We can focus on our minds, our hearts onto what is the origin of these feelings. Why do they feel like Home? Is it merely a mosaic of sensory perception, having a synergistic effect? Or is there something deeper? Being honest to ones’ own self is critical. It may be easy to conclude that one has ‘connected with Mother Earth’ and that many gods and goddesses abound and dance with you. Regardless, though, of the truth of this conclusion, what does it matter?

‘Taking advantage’ of these situations is not an ego-based action. If one can come to a fuller realization of their inherent true nature, this can only help to dissolve the illusion of our ego-mind.

From what I understand, only with utter joy with one’s own self, can one begin to realize their true inherent nature. Being in a state of bliss from realizing the beauty of your path is not something to disregard. It should be nurtured. However, subtle care must be given so that this bliss doesnt feed our ego-mind! “MY path is CORRECT!!” LOL.

Part of the bliss, the joy of seeing the beauty of a path is born from our wonder, our genuine ‘not-knowing’ what we are witnessing. Are not the most wonderous and beautiful things we ever experience things we never have seen before? Why is this? It is before our minds can categorize them, define and label them. We become merged with the experience.

Ugly paths, gorgeous paths… .they all led back Home, but never be afraid to follow the pretty path if it sings straight to your heart, for fear it will feed your ego…..while this is a risk, travelling a dark path holds the same risk… our ego’s hunger finds nourishment everywhere!!

500 Feet Below the Surface of Venus

Flowers blossom 48 million miles away from 50 feet below Mercury's surface.

Flowers blossom 48 million miles away from 50 feet below Mercury’s surface.

The title says it all. I often contemplate things such as this. What is 500 feet below the surface of Venus? 50 feet below the surface of Mercury? 1000 miles deep inside Jupiter’s gas?

Below Mercury’s surface, it is probably solid rock. Well, at least at 50 feet down. Perhaps further down there is liquid metal. My mind, my brain thinks of these remote locations, buried, hidden deep inside the Universe. I think my mind does this to affirm that there is ‘truth’ out there. Just because we can’t see 50 feet down into Mercury, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It is there. No one ever thinks about it, well most people don’t. I also think these things because, well, I have a deep faith that all the answers are indeed in the Universe. Sure, they aren’t hidden in some chest buried on Venus or something, but they exist. So, with our minds, we can travel… in our minds-eye, we can visualize the depths inside distant planets. What is happening there right now? Then we can start to bring our minds-eye’s spaceship back closer to home… What is happening in the dark craters on the moon? Is water sublimating? Then coming closer still, what is happening 1000 feet below our feet right this second? Solid rock? Air? Water? Magma? Bring it closer still, and closer, what is happening to the bottom of our toes? Are they touching socks? What about inside ours toes? blood flows… bones stay strong, muscles flex and relax… and closer again.. up our bodies to our hearts and mind…. where are they? what are they doing? When did Mercury’s core become separate from our heart-mind? Is it separate? You know, every single atom that exists once was only one thing.. back at the Big Bang. Then there was no separation, all truly was One! Is is different now? If so, in what ways? Can we feel how close it all still really is?

People have always talked about clairvoyance and about prophets from the beginning of time. Why? Sure, many people have taken advantage of this and a thriving market exists to exploit people’s beliefs and ignorance. Classic ‘fortune tellers’. But do these crooks give something that may be genuine a bad name? Perhaps.

One time when I saw the Dali Lama give a talk, he was discussing how he become the Dali Lama. About how he was the rebirth of a previous Buddhist master. But he said many people, many Buddhists talk about their past lives, with such clarity, but he never had such visions, such memories. He said he didn’t know if past lives exist. He, personally, had no proof!

This makes me think about the Buddha’s dying words.. Be a lamp onto yourself. No-one besides your own self knows the Truth. This does not mean not to trust people, to not believe people, but it means that even if other people’s views, beliefs and experiences are true and correct, only you yourself can realize them to be true. This is where faith is born. I personally have deep faith the Buddha was pretty clued up! And so far my experiences of realising truth have confirmed the Buddha’s teachings. It is not that his teachings have confirmed my views. There is a key difference. It is like this: The Buddha has a flashlight and he is shining it all around, and it shines straight into my heart. Wonderful! It is very beautiful, but how do I know if it is Truth? Only by using my flashlight can I illuminate the Buddha. I see the Buddha with his flashlight because I am looking all around too, with my flashlight. (Imagine a pitch-dark night and someone shines a flashlight at you. You can not see them at all, only their light… Only if you shine your own flashlight back at them, can you see who they are).

Never relinquish the power of your heart’s lamp, never give it to anyone, no matter how correct they are. This is why in Zen, they say if you see the Buddha, you must kill him. It sounds horribly evil and demented. But it is a symbolic phrase. Do not live in someone’s else light, no matter how beautiful… Learn from it, yes, use it, yes, but only to help spark your own light into an inferno of blazing light and love. Anyhow, it is always far more beautiful than anybody’s else’s!!


Natural Mama Big Camp 2013

Natural Mamas Big Camp 2013

This past weekend, I went to a camping event that was put on by a group called ‘Natural Mamas’. There were over 700 people camping, with over 400 under 5 year olds! Here in the UK, this group is dedicated to parenting with a focus on doing it ‘naturally’. What does this mean? Well, I am not a member my self (though it is open to papas too!), so I don’t want to define it incorrectly, but it focuses on parenting in a manner that is more in tune with how mothers evolved. So, instead of putting a baby in a stroller, you “wear” your baby, keeping it close to your heart. Just as a premature baby will benefit from a mothers touch, so too does a full-term baby, and an infant, and a toddler! Even as an adult, a mothers hug is pretty awesome! Also, ‘natural’ parenting involves things like baby-led weaning, breast-feeding, co-sleeping and cloth diapers (nappies) or even no diapers! Some may call it hippy-parenting, some may call it third-world parenting, but in reality, it is how we as humans evolved to parent. So, in essence, it is coming back to our roots, our true nature. I love it! And I loved the camping this weekend. My wife and my toddler also loved it.

Of course, on a deeper level, what is not natural? of course everything is ‘natural’, but that doesn’t mean it is correct function. So, getting back to the correct natural function of being a mother, of being a father, is very important. Modern humans are very far removed from how we evolved over millions of years to live, so it is difficult. I am not saying if something is natural it is always correct and I am not condemning any ‘unnatural’ or new ways to do parenting. Far from it. But getting back to the core of what it means to be human, to be a parent, is very important, very beautiful and very magically powerful!

UFO’s and all that

Ayahuasca: the sacred visionary brew of the Rainforest


So what are these things, UFO’s? Who sees them? Are they real? Are they advanced military machines? Are they advanced machines piloted by aliens? Are they holograms? Are they quasi-real, half existing in our 3 dimensions, half existing in other dimension(s)? Are they humans from the future? from the past? Are they bizarre life-forms, like jelly-fish but living in the sky? Are they machines piloted by dinosaurs that evolved into bi-pedal intelligent beings that live under the oceans? Are they hallucinations that mask child-hood trauma? Does trauma itself re-wire the brain to be able to see into other dimensions? Does the naturally produced chemical in our bodies, DMT, act as some sort of catalyst to experience other dimensions in a semi-logical physical way? Does plate tectonics release electrical discharges that alter the control and release of DMT in our brains? (More ufo’s are witnessed near shifting plates in the Earths crust). Do shamans learn how to control their DMT production/release in their brains that enable them to experience the true nature of ‘ufo’s and ‘aliens’? Do ‘normal’ people who see ufo’s see them in that context because it is the only context they can sort-of comprehend? Are there intelligences in the Universe that exist outside our neurons? Why is DNA, genes ‘coded’? as in the ‘genetic code’?…because it is a code, a language of 4 letters, that communicates with atomic structures (i.e ribosomes, etc.), and directs them. How is that not completely and mind-blowing insane?! It means nothing short that atoms, have the potential to organize into intelligence, and that has already occurred on Earth for at least 3 or 4 billion years.

My conclusion?

The Universe knows what it’s doing. It is smart. Damn smart. Super-duper Mr. Spock smart, and then some.
I have deep faith in myself, but I have much more faith in the Universe.

So, these ufo’s and aliens, what are they? I don’t know, I have never seen them that I can remember. I just know the Universe knows what’s it’s doing, more than i do!

(I wrote this back in December 2009) (Not my own image)


Beauty exists only now, enjoy it!

Beauty exists only now, enjoy it!

Run around the Sun

Dance around the Moon

Swim beneath the waves

Jellyfish in their caves

Glacier’s tilt

River’s silt

Flowers bloom

Leaves decay

Everything that is

always fades away.

Brain map patty-whack…

Does light master the rainbow or does the rainbow master the light?

Does light master the rainbow or does the rainbow master the light?

…give the dog a bone…

The human brain is a very complex organ, sort of like a powerful computer, processing tons of information, all the time, and producing output, all the time. Yet, unlike a computer, it is always changing, with neurons, brain cells, changing in shape, in length, in function. It is how ‘practice makes perfect’. Each time something is practiced, whether swinging a golf club, writing your name with your non-usual hand, learning a language, your neurons adapt after each experience. Neurons can grow in length, physically to have a better reach at other areas in the brain that can help perform the task better each time.

All the neurons compete, in a way, for dominance in your brain…which explain ‘use it or lose it’. But..

Because the human brain is super fresh, it can remember things, and even if you haven’t rode a bike for ten years, you will still be able to do it, maybe wobbly at first, but that memory, that map your brain made all those years ago, is dusted off and re-used.

It also explains how people can get into ruts, get into compulsions, and habits, both good and bad. Your brain is a powerful tool, and it masters most people’s lives.

When the brain is mastered itself, you can direct where those maps form, and you can begin to heal any ‘bad’ or unhealthy brain maps.

The brain doesn’t like to be stagnant, we didn’t evolve that way.

So, when humans are removed from their natural environment and ecotones, they seem to do either of 2 things..

stagnate and get depressed, fall ill, and have a miserable life….

or flourish, and create masterpieces of art and science…..

How many hunter-gatherer tribes have horribly depressed, chronically ill and drug addicted people? Not many

How many of those tribes have Einsteins, Newtons, Picassos, or Michelangelos?

Not many.

In one sense, it’s simply not ‘natural’ to push the limits of the mind as the great artists and scientists have done.

In another sense, it’s the human brain, of course it’s natural!

So, keeping our brains happy is keeping our societies happy. Or something like that…

brain wack patty map, give a crow a moan,

play piano upsidedown, a frown turns ’round

E=MC2 and turtles fly the night

looking for Terrapin

the lights always bright..

Photons shine white,

cut one open and black spills out..

and births the ying and the yang,

Neurons sputter, like bad sparkplugs,

they need maintenance too,

make them fire into the night

and form a circle of thought in your brain.

It will be real, as real as anything, and a physical circle of electricity will be conducted..

follow its path in your head, and its a dance, one neuron to the next, electricity flows inside the neuron, till it reaches its end, spewing out chemicals to find the next neuron, and this turns it on, literally, and it feels electric, because it is, and then it shoots this electric current down inside this next neuron towards its tip,s then explodes with more chemicals…

It sounds pretty sexual, and, in a way it is…

these bursts of chemicals and electricity create growth, create relationships, and make the brain work more efficiently. (okay efficient and sex don’t really go together, well, I hope not, lol)

So, I will continue to create this particle accelerator in my brain, using thought alone, as that is all that is biologically required, as the thoughts move the neurons into action, which moves the electricity which moves the chemicals….which makes neurons grow, and expand and create more and more connections…

I think I just gave myself a headache. lol.

The rain dances with photons.... and whoever the master was, falls to their knees and smiles at the colors.

The rain dances with photons…. and whoever the master was, falls to their knees and smiles at the colors.

So, 96% of the Universe is missing, eh?

96% of the Universe covers over us yet we still see the light shine through..

96% of the Universe covers over us yet we still see the light shine through..

Dark matter, dark energy, lots of what is expected to be in the Universe is simply not to be found. 96& worth! What is THAT all about? Scientists have calculated that we can not find 96% of the Universe! What?
So, what have they found, that makes up the known 4%? Well, normal matter and normal energy, you know, like Iron, nickel, oxygen, and like heat, other radiations like gamma rays, x-rays, etc.
And, as Einstein figured out, Energy is simply mass (times the speed of light squared), you know e = mc2 ( i can’t do the superscript for the squared part),
Everyone knows that equation. What does it mean? Nothing more that say that energy and mass are interchangeable, more or less the same thing, just one is ‘solid’ energy (matter), one is just fluid matter (energy). So, you can calculate the energy value of a piece of matter and you can calculate the mass of a piece of energy, basically. By why is the speed of light in there?
What is the speed of light? Nothing can travel faster than light. Why? and what is light?
Light is simply radiation, you know, like from the Sun, which is visible. But x-rays are the same thing, just a different compressed version, but travel the same speed, but since its compressed compared to visible light, it has a lot more energy.
We know about visible light because we see it. We know about x-rays because of the way they interact with matter. We know about iron and oxygen because of how they interact with other atoms.
We know of the 4% because of their interactions.
So, the other 96% we don’t notice their interactions.
Do they have interactions?
Well, they interact with galaxies by affecting the expansion of the Universe, which, is how scientists calculated there is 96% missing in the first place.
They just don’t know what it is.
So, energy and matter are basically all there is in the Universe, according to modern theories. And they are simply flip sides of the same coin.
What if there is something else?
Not matter, like protons, or helium; nor energy like gamma rays or heat.
What could it be?
What sort of experiment could find it?
I have no idea!!

then I think about what thoughts and feelings consist of… brain matter (mass) and energy give rise to thoughts and feelings.
give rise to..

so, thoughts are born from matter and energy, but are they actually either? Is a thought a form of energy or matter? perhaps.
Is the feeling of love and compassion composed of matter or energy? perhaps.

But, perhaps not.
Thoughts are sorta floating around, love is, well, intangible, isn’t it?

When people talk of transcendence … what does this mean?
Is it possible that it relates to going past matter and energy?

Is this what makes up the missing 96% and pulls and/or pushed galaxies?
But that is what gravity does, and that is related to mass, to matter.

But could something else do this?

Well, sure. Nothing says it can’t. The laws of physics state that matter has gravity, but it doesn’t deny gravity existing in another medium.

But, of course, all this talk of mine is heresy and not real science, as you can’t test it at all.

Maybe one day it can be tested.

The Universe is vast, crazy, powerful, mysterious and doesn’t all add up, it just doesn’t make sense!

But, sitting under a full moon, with crickets chirping, what doesn’t make sense?

The Universe knows what it’s doing.

(I wrote this about 3 years ago)

Midnight Blue

Midnight blue…. (This is not one of my own photographs)

We all get asked what our favorite color is. This happens most often as a child, though it still gets asked as an adult from time to time. Mine always seemed to change. Green was frequently my favorite, but i did go through times when other colors, like deep intense orange was my color of choice.

Today, the color that seems to have the most power over me is midnight blue. The color of the night sky just before it goes all black, when there is still some of the Sun’s photons bouncing around the air above me. The moon may be shining, and most stars are out. Then all is surrounded by this incredibly darkest of dark blue… it looks black until you realize it is almost glowing, this underlying blue, almost purple…so very intense and, for me, awe-inspiring.

I remember my brother once telling me that certain colors sometimes can manifest very strong emotional responses in him. I think this may be a mild form of some brain chemistry wiring that allows for colors to become ’emotional’. Some people have conditions that enable them to ‘see’ sounds as colors and hear ‘colors’ as musical notes.. This reminds me of an interview I heard once. I forgot who was being interviewed but he was talking about his childhood and that in the theater the lights would go dim and the orchestra would start playing. He saw intense colors when the music was played. He thought the lights were dimmed so everyone could see the music! Okay, i am a bit sidetracked here, but this little excursion illustrates the nature of what ‘reality’ actually is. Say only about 0.001% of humans ‘see’ sounds… Society would say that these 0.001% of people have a disorder, they are not experiencing reality properly. What happens when we increase that percentage to 1%? 25%? What happens at 50%?! We do not say that all women have a reality disorder because they are not men! So, what is ‘real’?

In Zen, seeing clearly what is, is very important. Who is to say what is clear sight then? the 99.999%? The Enlightened beings? Who? The answer is, well, crystal clear.

So, back to color. I am reminded of a story my high school math teacher told the class. His friend asked him what his favorite music was and he replied ‘whatever I am listening to must be my favorite of that moment or why would I have chosen it otherwise?’

It was a simple story but for me it resonated and was the most important lesson I learned from that class (even though i loved that pre-calculus class!), I learned that picking your own personal favorites, whether music, colors, foods, people or whatever, and being loyal to those favorites is actually being unloyal to your own experiences, It restricts you from finding new favorites and it binds you.

My favorite color? They all have a different place in my heart. Sometimes my heart is happy and loves yellow, sometimes it is reflective and loves midnight blue. Sometimes my heart feels clear and loves white. So can i actually have a favorite? I don’t know. When i see midnight blue, however, something intensely powerful happens in my gut. I feel as though I am absorbing the cosmos into me and seeing secrets held billions of miles away. It feels like I am experiencing the pumping blood of the Universe pulsing through my heart-mind and, if it wanted to, could easily overpower me. I am left in awe, and in deep respect. It is the Universe perceiving itself, always.