Escaping Pain

You can run, and you can hide, but always right arounf the corner you will be staring right back at yourself, or a sheep!

You can run, and you can hide, but always right around the corner you will be staring right back at yourself, or a sheep!

Having lots on your plate to get done while having chronic fatigue is difficult. When this extends over an extended period of time with minimal relief on the horizon, it can be more than mere deflating. Being mindful of each moment, as that’s all there really is, certainly is the best mode of attack, if you will. However, one thing I have noticed, is that it is times like these, where difficulty can be safely predicted to be constant for the foreseeable future, that being mindful of the present can be experienced as unrelenting stress and pain. This is certainly one of the birthplaces where ‘escaping reality’ takes place. Now, i don’t want to give the impression this is how my life is, because whilst individual moments may be experienced in this way, many other moments are magical. Such as holding my wife’s hand, or flying my 4 month old daughter around the house like Superman, or rather Supergirl I suppose! Last night my 3-year-old son wanted to help me get stuff from the attic, but I explained it was too dangerous. Then, as I was finished, and about to move the ladder back outside, I took him up the ladder to show him the great mysterious unknown above. The look on his face was of pure amazement and exhilaration! He felt like the luckiest kid on Earth I think! lol.

Back to ‘escaping reality’ … Sometimes people use booze or drugs. Many people use television or surf the internet. Perhaps more dangerous are the subtle escapes, like, for example, reading books. Things that have positive connotations, such as reading, can remain forever hidden as a possible obstruction. We all know watching too much tv or drinking too much booze isn’t really good for us.. but how many people think that reading too much is bad for us?! Only nutters! lol.

If we do feel the need to escape, to have a stiff drink, or a good read, perhaps we can try to be mindful of those moments, and, when we are, something magical happens, the escape drops away and we are where we started, where we always have been. Sure our problems will still be there after the next chapter or the next episode, but if we can face our escape head on, then we learn to not be so afraid of our problems and feel we can live within them. Over time, the need to have a stiff drink or a good novel fades away and our problems and pain are best ‘solved’ head-on, with loving compassion for ourselves.

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6 thoughts on “Escaping Pain

  1. Having suffered with FMS for some years I understand exactly where you are coming from.. Funnily enough I was only going through some papers today and came across the papers I had written out when I had joined the Experts Patients Programme you can find out about it here.
    http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/doctors/Pages/expert-patients-programme.aspx
    The papers were a reminder of how far I had come in self management from those days when Pain seemed to control every aspect of my life.. and I totally concur with what you say in your summing up ”
    “Over time, the need to have a stiff drink or a good novel fades away and our problems and pain are best ‘solved’ head-on, with loving compassion for ourselves.”..

    It was only through nurturing myself more.. Giving myself small achievable goals, and not worrying if something didn’t get done some days.. And learning how to Listen to my body, feed it nourishing foods, with gentle exercise, Spring Forest Qi Gong Practice was my saviour.. And now I am drug free… I only have regular Acupuncture 3 to 4 week intervals which help pain levels along with other FMS related symptoms.. We truly do need to find the time for ourselves.. and once we love ourselves we will help heal ourselves.

    Lovely post Richard.. and loved the part where your little one explored the loft for the first time…. Magic! 🙂

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  2. Very spot-on. I have such CFS secondary to Lyme Disease damage and it has changed my life, good or bad, forever. I lost the ability to have children, the ability to work in a “normal” job, and the fatigue I experience constantly is overwhelming for the treatment of seizures from Lyme. Not what I thought my life would be, but as Dad always taught me: It’s not up to us. I take what is and work with it. I face it head-on, no drinking or hiding from what is, and while it’s difficult it’s not impossible. I believe God gave me what I could handle and have become a better person for it. The disease and repercussions of same have only served to teach me what I can do, not what I cannot. There is a higher power in charge of my destiny and I accept that and embrace it. I control what I can and deal with what I cannot. My one regret, and the biggest of all, is the inability to have a child so I, too, could experience that pure moment of joy you and Asha experience when Oak wants to see what’s in the attic. That’s pure love and above all, pure heaven. The closest I come to is my dog and cat being cute as only an animal can be (like the sheep). Keep writing, kiddo – you are one of the smartest people I’ve ever had the honor of knowing.

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    • Your Dad had such clarity about what is important and true in life. It is beautiful that you are so positive about your conditions and working with them, instead of against them.
      Our animal friends are family too (as you know!) and they are lucky to experience your kind heart Gina. Hugs. Thank you for your very kind words. 🙂

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